Broken

[Katrina]

One week ago today we laid my precious grandson to rest. He fought a long, hard battle for 4 weeks to stay with us, but only being 22 weeks gestation proved to be too much. My heart never hurt so much as it did holding our sweet little baby boy in my arms as he took his final breaths. Maddox was the most beautiful soul I've ever felt, and I'm lost without him. My little hero is gone.

Three days ago we nearly lost his mother as well. She tried to take her own life. I immediately rushed her to the hospital, and she is in a treatment facility to hopefully receive the intense help that she very much needs to help her cope with her tragic loss. I don't know what we will do as a family if we lose her too.

There seems to be no light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Our family has suffered greatly, and I feel like life has really shit on us. I'm so angry. I want our baby boy back. I want his mommy to be ok. And I'm pissed at the world that there isn't a damn thing I can do to make any of that happen.

[mtngrl]

Saying a prayer for you and your family for healing.

[Aydensmomma]

Dammit. I am so incredibly sorry for the major loss your family is going thru. It is terrible to have a baby born that early, and watch them loose the fight for their lives.
Their is a light, you just aren't seeing it. It will get easier.
There is a program called March of Dimes, we had the same situation 4 Years ago. March of Dimes helps the mother and they help the family. Every year we do the walk and raise money. Every year we hear the terrible stories of loss, that are usually followed by the blessing of another child who may have been a premie, but made it. You might benifit from starting a family team in his memory. Team Maddox. (I don't work for M.O.D. but this is what the mother in our situation did.)
It's OK to cry and to be pissed off at the world. Your poor daughter, she is where she needs to be to get the help she needs. Maybe celebrate the life that Maddox had. Short as it may have been here on earth he was loved. He is sitting up in heaven with the other babies and watching over your family. You now have an angel.
My prayers are with you, your daughter and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss.

[Bananna]

I'm so sorry for your families loss. I recommend Griefshare! Just google Griefshare programs near you. Or many churches have it as a community group!

[mrtumnus]

My heart breaks for you! Prayers!

[tina833]

I'm so sorry for your loss Katrina. I've prayed for you and your family and your grandson's mom.

I lost a grandbaby through a miscarriage about a year and a half ago. They did end up having another baby who has been a great joy. However, nothing can take away the loss of my other grandbaby. With me, it's almost like I'm not supposed to acknowledge him or her since he never had a day of life. I always thought it was a boy. But even now just talking about him tears me up.

I can't imagine the pain you are going through. Please know you are not alone and feel free to talk about your grandson whenever you wish.