Is It Normal To Feel This Way? 10 Days Post Op

[PitPat]

I can so identify with you!!!! I find that I do better when I am around people I do better. I'm not thinking about what I can (can't) eat! Even not being really 'happy', I do feel better. Not quite as bogged down feeling. I do hope you feel better soon. Remember, "One day at a time...."
Blessings.....
PitPat

[MelKay]

Thank you for sharing that with me, I hate that you feel the same.. It's such a bad feeling! But I know we'll both get to eat good food again soon & we're going to be looking & feeling better!
Crossing my fingers & praying time flies by

[Breen]

It will be better soon. You will get into a new routine and this very hormonal stage will pass. I have been kind of cranky too. I would make my hubby a nice meal and be fine cooking it and then cry and yell at him while he ate it in front of me. Not cool hormones. You will also see that returning to a "regular diet" will not be an easy or very enjoyable one at first, baby steps. Also, with all of the emotions we are feeling we would have stress eaten a dozen or so times, now we are safe from that until we learn to cope with our feelings. Keep letting it out and we will listen. Take it a day at a time. Food will return, just later. You got this girl!!

[Breen]

I'm also a big girl too with a goal of 180! I'm going for it. I have two adorable kids that need me to and I deserve to feel good about myself for once. Damn straight it's realistic!

[niamh]

Sorry to hear you're feeling rotten. A good deal of this may well be hormonal. With losing weight rapidly, a lot of hormones get released into your system and many people feel really emotional in the early stages.

Once you start feeling emotional, that mental and physical state directs your attention toward things to feel sad about. It's a common rumination cycle in depression (I'm not diagnosing you with depression, btw, just making a comment about how our mind/body works). Similar to when you are feeling stressed about something at work, you notice all the irritating drivers on the road and the mess when you get home when they wouldn't normally bother you. Negative moods are self-perpetuating.

Sometimes negative moods are useful to help us decide to make changes, BUT, as you are now stuck with the sleeve whether you like it or not (and we all think you will be glad in time) your job now is to work out how to manage your sad mood, and try and shift it. There are a few things you might do;

* When you're feeling sad, rather than focusing on the content of the sad thoughts (which are being selectively attended to), just notice that you feel sad, accept that that's how things are right at the minute, and reassure yourself that it will pass. Being sad is a temporary state that is tolerable. But try not to get into ruminating about the sad thoughts and thinking them through - it will just self-perpetuate.
* Consciously make a list of the positive things you are looking forward to about losing weight - write it up, get pictures that symbolise it, etc. Put it up somewhere and spend a few minutes at a time meditating on this positive future image.
* Do things that consciously shift your physical status - in particular exercise is known to be very effective in lifting mood.
* Find and schedule other pleasant activities into your day which will help shift your mood. Funny movies you like, songs you love to listen to and sing or dance along to, friends you like to chat with, spending time with a pet, having a warm bath, the list is endless. It doesn't have to make you feel deliriously happy, but any shift can help break the downward spiral and also help you recognise that sadness is a temporary state it's not a permanent and fixed view of reality.

In relation to the specifics you've posted about - you had this surgery because you wanted to break up your unhealthy relationship with food. Consider this the early post break-up blues like when you've ended a relationship for all the right reasons (cause the person was unreliable, not treating you well etc) but you're missing the great sex! It will pass in time, and in time when you have a different relationship with food - a calmer, more reliable, more contained relationship - you'll be glad you swapped all the drama.

Good luck!

[HoneyroastedMelnut]

I think the one thing the bariatric doctors with all their pre-op stuff fail to cover is the emotional aspect. I know for me, when I get worn out the waterworks turn on. The other day I was out of the house running errands about 1 hour longer than I thought I would be, I was absolutely drained and radio commercials had me almost balling!
Just take it one day at a time. You had MAJOR surgery. I think many of us overlook that because we just see little bitty laparoscopic incisions. You are still physically and mentally recovering!
Watching TV can be hard with all the food commercials. I didn't realize how many shows I liked revolved around food ... I think the food network and the cooking channel are both in the top 5 channels the TV is tuned to! It is taking a huge mental adjustment to deal with that.
But you can do this! You did do it!! Just try to focus on the positive when the negative wants to bring you down.

[PitPat]

Very well said, niamh! I think we all needed that!!!!

[jennak89]

This does get easier, trust us, many have been there. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you and be there for you and find a trusted person to talk to or keep a journal of your progress. This is not an easy road, we have to change our way of thinking, as i told some one it mind over matter.

[~Fawn]

Very well said, niamh!

I never felt I had an emotional relationship with food...until I had this surgery. Now I can see that I did. My boyfriend and I go shopping together I stop and look at all the bakery items, go for a really slow wander down the candy isle and the Ice cream isle...but thats it, I look. I don't get sad anymore, I rejoice now that I don't even want them! Yeah me!

Life does get easier and easier as you go through your journey. Trust in your body, trust in your new tool. Think of the things you want to gain from all of this, for me it was: I wanted to be able to tie my own shoes again, I wanted to be able to walk more than a few hours a day, I wanted to stop taking arthritis meds, I wanted to be able to run and play with the neighborhood kids and my grandkids (I just got my first one) one day. I wanted to be able to go shoping in the little people departments in the stores (the clothes are way cuter!) I wanted to not be out of breath just going to the bathroom or doing laundry or having sex with my boyfriend! (That's a whole other conversation--skinny sex is great!)

Keep the faith, sip sip, sip, walk, walk, walk, know you are not alone, and find your strength in what is to come! Some lose slow, some lose fast, don't gauge your success with anothers as each of us have our own journeys and our bodies are not the same. One day you will get frustrated the numbers on the scale are not moving--but your body is still changing, you probably are losing inches, do not forget to measure early so you can see these changes when the time comes.

I wish you tons of luck and a great journey! Peace my friend!

[Mem]

Food was my drug of choice and I do miss it. I am six months out, diabetes free, and on half bp meds. It was so worth it. Give it time. You will feel betterand have more energy. Clothes shopping will be fun. Good Luck and God Blrss. Mem

[lisaloves1]

Hi MelKay, First, you look beautiful!! I am going to have surgery on August 5th and I was scared at first but then I read hundreds and hundreds of reviews that got me through being scared. I too might be in the same boat when I have surgery and I might regret it but I think about this, right now, I'm fat, I've been over-weight for 13 years. I tried to lose the weight and I couldn't, on top of that I have spinal problems which I can't run and hypothyroid problems which I'm having a really hard time trying to lose this weight. I used to sit down and put my leg up on a table, right now, I can't even pick up my leg lol that's how heavy it is. Then I wake up like a very old woman and can't walk, my feet is killing me, this weight has taken a toll on me. I don't want to go to my kids graduations looking fat, I did and felt so uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable being outside. period. I don't want to be like this, I haven't been to the beach in 13 years. I haven't been to any events either. Staying home makes you want to eat and once you eat you feel so guilty and want to stay home again. What I did was enroll myself in college, as fat as I am :P and I said "alright this is a start, I'm enrolled, I have to go to college now. Now I can get the surgery because I won't be home all day worrying about food because I'll be in school worrying about passing classwork. hah. anyways I hope you feel better and find something you really like to do, to pass the time and think of food as a necessity. Eating non healthy foods is what caused me to gain the weight in the first place. So I'll try to remember that when I have regrets, and do a before and after for yourself so you can keep track on how much you're losing and how good you'll look with the outfits you always wanted. Think of it like God gave us a 2nd chance, having a baby stomach and starting over again.

[Genia1021]

I had my surgery 7-3 and things that use to taste good no longer taste good to me. I don't know how people are wishing to be able to eat more food. I have my alarm set for every 2 hours but most of the time I am not hungry. I made roasted chicken and spinach for dinner, I had 4 small pieces of chicken breast only. It gets better and I cant wait so hang in there and keep us posted on your journey. HUGSC!!!!!!!!

[Kelli D]

You truly can do this! I was the exact same way despite the fact that I new what I was getting into! My liquid diet was the first glimpse of my future and the detoxing of the carbs. BUT.......when I had the surgery I had a momentary "What the hell did I just do!" which passed quickly. The was replaced a few days later with the rearing of the ugly head hunger!! I couldn't stand being around what I called good food (which was bad fool) or smelling it. The tv taunted me, billboards taunted me etc. You know the picture! I was crying and upset with the full realization that I had permanently changed my life. Despite those feelings I also knew it was the best thing for me and it was now time to put on my big girl panties and do what I had professed I was going to do. I started looking for all the links I could find to help with good recipes and eating properly. Since I am only 7 weeks out I am still in a huge learning curve and working on it every day. But one day you will wake up the pain will be gone or very tolerable and realize it's all good and you will have a huge smile on your face because YOU DID IT!! I promise every restaurant I have been to has accommodated my needs. I still wish sometimes I could have the old things but I have truly come to appreciate my new foods and enjoy them. The biggest thing is to eat slow so you can enjoy your meal. I was eating to fast and looking around and the first thing I thought was "That's it!" I now eat slower and finish my meal the same time the others I am with have just finished a plate full of what I would have gained weight on. I bet tomorrow you will already feel better when you get up because you vented your fears and frustrations. Keep posting your worries we are here to help each other get through this new journey!! You got this!!

[MelKay]

You all have posted so many great things! Just reading them & hearing about your journeys reqlly helps me! Thank you so very much & yall are sooo smart too & really know what you're talking about! Great advice & uplifting words
Im doing a little better today.. not so bad i guess.
I also apologize if i cant get back to each one of you personally, just know that im very appreciative & your words mean so much to me

[Taylor32909]

MelKay I read all of your post and you are inspiring to me. I have not had my sleeve yet as I am still waiting on insurance approval but daily I look forward to reading all of your posts. I am very nervous about this journey as well. I'm sure I will have the same feelings. My husband and I recently split and all of my family live in a different state. I am going to have to ask an "acquaintance" to drive me to the hospital as I really have no BFF's here in this state. My husband was my bff and now he is gone. I spent all of my time with him and never really hung out with anyone else. I have found so much support here on this site and it is amazing how strangers can become your best friends in times like this. We are all here for each other and it is wonderful!!!!! Best of luck you will get through this!!!!