Why do I feel so guilty?

[aclabombard13]

I'm really not one to post my frustrations or anything negative. I really try to be positive and encouraging to everyone. Maybe this is why I feel so guilty when people praise me and ask what my menus look like because they admire my success. The truth is, in my opinion, I don't eat very well. I'm sure I'm eating far too many carbs and no where near enough protein. I have days where I am super focused and do well... but the truth is those days are far too few. I wouldn't say I'm slipping into old habits, because I really love and enjoy "good-for-you" healthy foods. Unfortunately they don't all love me so much these days. I am envious of all you sleevers who can eat just about anything without a problem. Proteins seem to test my new stomach. They don't sit well a lot of the time. I have to practically have them in soup form for them not to irritate me. I fully plan on bringing it up at my 6 month check-up next month. I mentioned it to the nurse that leads the support group and she agreed I should be sure to mention the fact that I throw up almost everyday (usually only once). This happens when I try things that I know might bother me. There are certain foods that I can almost guarantee won't agree, but every now and then I give them a try. Eggs are so hit and miss (more miss than hit unfortunately) chicken breast is evil most days, I don't like turkey, protein shakes make me gag. I totally overdosed on shrimp in the first few months and now it makes me queasy. I just feel bad when people look to me for food advice because I don't feel like I have it all together in that area. Trust me, if those lean, healthy, high in protein foods would stay put... I'd eat them all day long! It's not to say I'm doing things all wrong, I exercise a lot, I still only eat between 800-1100 calories a day. And yes my weight loss is PHENOMENAL and I understand why others might look to me for tips... I just don't feel like I'm in a position to give them. I know what I should be doing, I just can't right now... but I still try everyday, hence the daily vomiting. I just don't want anyone to feel bad if I'm not sharing my secrets to great weight-loss... cause the secret is I am struggling with eating still. I in no way want this to discourage any prospective sleevers, my situation is pretty uncommon. And the fact is I DON'T CARE! If this was the way it was for the rest of my life, so be it... I still think it's worth it and I am happy. Food doesn't have to be the center of my universe, I will figure it out. I just needed to be honest. This has been bothering me for a while and I felt it only right to come clean with you all. Thanks for listening

[Honey]

That's why we're here....I know I have issues too.....I'm too high on carbs, don't drink enough water, and could probably get in more protein. I keep hitting weeks long stalls....it's very discouraging but I persevere....cause I have to. We know what we did was the best thing for us....hopefully we'll live longer, healthier lives. I'd rather live my life than eat it, too! Hang in their girlfriend.

[xxtac66]

Girl I feel you!!!! I am super naughty with carbs right now...scared to death of falling into my old habits...and have probably prohibited my ultimate weight loss through the emotional struggles with food addiction. I'm down 61 lbs though and am amping up my exercise and being more strict about what I am eating...I'll make it. Luckily, no vomiting whatsoever and no nausea....I am sorry you are having such a hard time with it, but from my point of view as someone who can eat anything, almost dangerously, maybe throwing up is a good thing? I know it's truly not...but in my own twisted little way, if I was not as tolerant with foods as I am, maybe I would lose more!

[tootsibelle]

Thank you for being honest. All of you. I think there is a difference between being negative and being honest. When we know the truth was can change it to our advantage. Just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you have good reason to. Keep up the good work. You are doing fantastic. Think of all the things you have changed for the better. Sheri

[Letizia81]

Thanks for the post.

[pack89]

You have nothing to feel bad about, well, aside from your nausea. I can't imagine having to go through that every day and I feel bad for you. I think you should feel proud because you are doing so well IN SPITE of throwing up everyday! It is your personal challenge and you are doing what you can to deal with and overcome. You haven't given up or gone back to your old ways, so I say KUDOS to you!! By sharing your story, it might help someone else that could be going through the same thing. That takes courage. While your journey might not be ideal, it is your journey, and you are doing it the best you can!

[sandyfromoz]

Please be careful with the throwing up. It can cause blow outs/blockages and/or enlarge your sleeve. .

[Beautiful Momma]

2 years post sleeve for me and I still have guilt! Seems to go with the territory of being female!!! I eat healthy most of the time (85%) but will have junk too. Though I feel crappy after (but still do it!) Don't beat yourself up about it. Do what you have to do for yourself to #1-be healthy #2-feel healthy. It's different for all of us. I'm sure you've tried everything, but are you still sick if you just have one or two bites?

[Mbenson5]

Aw, I didnt realize you were struggling with protein and vomiting. I hope once you reach your goal that it resolves. I know I was one who asked what you were doing. I have to admit that I have been a little jealous of your fast progress (at the same time so happy for you!) because if I even look at a carb, I stall. I'm a little worried about your protein issues. Maybe try cottage cheese? That is what I eat nearly every day. Also yogurt. Meats alone don't sit we'll with me either. Please don't feel guilty! You have enough going on so don't sweat the little things. We are all here to support one another so let someone else pick up the slack if you aren't ready yet. Take care - wishing the very best for you! Hugs!