Supportive Mom

[barb3433]

Hi,
I am not having bariatric surgery, but my beautiful 33 year old daughter is. I joined so that I can learn as much as I can from others' experiences and be as supportive of her as I possibly can be. I still don't know how to handle holidays and celebrations that usually center around food, and I don't know what to do with those "social occassions" when we'd normally meet for dinner at a restaurant somewhere. The surgery itself really scares me because it is irreversible, but that is her decision and I completely support that. I just want to be able to make it easier in any small way that I can.

[lidibear]

Nothing better than supportive family, a true blessing. My mom worries so much too but is completely supportive. i try to educate her as much on the surgery and after care as I can. Especially since she will will be helping me and my little ones once my husband goes back to work. I dont know what I would do without her. Moms are amazing!

[tori712]

Hi!, I will say in the beginning I was frustrated, I couldn't eat a lot and I used to go out to eat at restaurants all the time, My family owns restaurants so that was really hard and depressing, but once I started to heal, and could eat more, I make things work, I still cook food for the holidays, the same for my family, I just make sure I eat meat and stay away from junk, I have never been someone in to sweets so desserts aren't a problem for me, but food that I am not supposed to eat like potatoes, if I really want it I still have a bite,. Over all going out to eat isn't that bad, I still get what I want I just eat less.. I am happy with the surgery, and glad I have got it done..It was something I wanted for years before I was able to get it,.. and even if I don't loose anymore weight (I went from 222 to 165 in about 5-6 months and I am 4'11 so I look very heavy since I am so short) I still would be happy with the surgery because I lost a lot of weight and don't stuff my face like before, I eat more often in a day then I did but I eat about 4 ounces of food.. compared to 2 HUGE meals..
It does bother me when I go out to dinner with my husband and he freaks out and says "oh i feel so bad I am stuffing my face and you can't eat anything" Its so annoying, Shut up and eat your food, I wanted this, and don't mind, in the beginning it was nice he said it, but he says it all the time now to the point that its like rubbing it my face not purposely ..

She will Learn to adjust, its not bad at all, I just know what I can and can't eat and how to eat, and make things work, like If I HAVE to eat fast food, I always hated fast food, but if I have to eat it, I get some kind of chicken, and just eat that, or I get a cheese burger with no bun or anything else and just eat the meat..
That was just my opinion on everything and what works for me, hope that helped in some way.

[barb3433]

Thank you so much. That's very helpful. Good luck to you as you continue the great progress you're making.

[barb3433]

Thanks Lidia! I'm a nurse so I understand what the surgery entails. Maybe that's part of why I'm worrying. It helps to read all the posts by people who have had the surgery and how happy they are. I guess I'm just a typical mom like yours. We always worry about our babies. That's in the Mom jub description!

[dackn8tr]

WELCOME!! What a great way to support your daughter!! My mom was my biggest supporter and believe me it made a huge difference!! It's all an adjustment, retraining my mind & reworking my relationship with food has been very strange but i'm so glad i had the surgery. I dont know when her surgery is but i had to go through 6 month pre-op with the doctors for my insurance and that was all on me to start making the good choices that will carry me through the rest of my life and to pay the piper when i didn't. After the surgery and i wrapped my head around the whole eating thing (that took a few weeks!!) food is no issue for me anymore. 2 1/2 weeks after my surgery we had our sons high school graduation party at the house and i cooked up a storm and couldn't eat any of it so i had my afternoon protein right before people came and again as soon as everyone was gone. During the party my mom and i stood in the kitchen talking to people and at one point she looked stunned and said "we really need to get you away from all this food so you're not tempted by it" and the beautiful thing was that i wasn't tempted at all by ANY of it! I say for the holidays and get togethers don't stress about it, ask her before that day comes what she can have and make sure you have a little of that around plus some healthy veggies/fruit for her to snack on but plan like normal for everyone else. Don't be afraid to ask any questions that come to mind, we're all here to support you AND your daughter and there are no stupid questions!!