Laughing at myself...I wasn't too big....

[ACE]

Recently I have had a whole run of feelings and thoughts about my weight issues and recently i find i am laughing at myself thinking "wow how did I not get it before". the most recent one came a few days ago I was trying on clothes and i got to bras and i could not find anything that fit right. I thought about giving up and then that old familiar feeling came in and i started feeling down on myself that I was simply still TOO big to be comfortable. then i realized that NO i am not too big my boobs re still too big lol
there is a little background i need to explaine here. when I was about 12 I was already in a 36C and as I entered highschool I was pretty normal by the average american teen ager standards. I was about 30 pounds over weight but I was built well. I didnt see it back then all I could see was my fat stomach nd thighs. Now thinking back i can see points where my weight took a turn because of the things i convinced myself of and my point is this. I just realized I wasnt too big my boobs were I thouhght that because i had to buy extra large shirts that meant that I was EXATR LARGE i just couldnt see past my boobs litterally. I began getting down on myself at that point and began gaining weight figuring it didnt matter anyway i didnt feel lucky like i should have at that age i took it the wrong way and said ok extra large means I AM FAT. Its so nice to look in the mirror now and be able to say i am beautiful and not I AM FAT
now I wanted to post about this because I keep having all these little realizations that when i think about them have such deep roots in non-reality lol I love that i am cleaning these things out of my brain and beginning to see the beautiful amazing person I am

sorry i am a bit scattered this morning so if i repeated myself sorry i have two babies who want to climb on me while i write this

[Tabby]

I love it! Good for you on re-framing things. I still REALLY need to work on this Keep up the great work!