I knew that losing weight would increase my self-esteem and boost my confidence, but it's brought forward an overwhelming amount of emotions.
One friend told me the two women who had the surgery whose husbands were deployed...they both got boyfriends and left their husbands. Another friend said that two of her friends got divorced after WLS and one is struggling.
I have to say "I get it". It's so life-changing. I am bombarded with new and wonderful emotions. I love who I am now, but I'm really confused. I am a person I have never been--even when I was thin before and young. Now I'm a 40 year old thin me who is experiencing life in a unique way. I'm middle aged, having my sexual peak, and more happy and confident and silly than ever. I'm uninhibited in ways that actually scare me. And I crave relationships with people. I want to listen to music and to dance to it rather than watch movies. I'd rather socialize at parties than do my crafts (my favorite pastime). I cannot overstate how changing this has been to me. I love who I am but I question who I am. What will I be next year? when I lose ALL The weight? Will I go back to my old interests? I'm also craving sexual attention from men. Which scares the crap out of me.
One of those friends said the cycle she's seen is that at first the spouse is thrilled to see their newly happy confident spouse. Then they become bothered by the changes, until finally they just feel like they don't know their spouse.
I think for the relationship to survive, there has to be communication and mutual change. I know I want to have counseling when my husband gets back. What are we to do when he wants to hang out at home with me all the time and I feel stifled not having people over or going to parties? Will he be the dull one at the party and me feeling trapped?
Right now my husband is so happy. I love him more than ever because I accept myself more than ever. But for a marriage to survive such a large change, we have to work at it.
Other things to consider...I am craving people to be around me, but not everybody wants to socialize that much. I want a lot of affection and not everyone wants to give it. I don't have a niche laid out for me there and with hubby gone, I am feeling kind of lonely & needy. I even got sensitive and felt like no one liked me there for a bit.
The most lovely thing I have experienced is that I and being the kind of person I wanted to be. I feel genuine love for so many people and am not afraid to show it or say it. I don't care what they look like or how cool they are. I just love people.
I hope you get a chance to share your thoughts and what has/hasn't worked for you. I'm going to start going to a counselor/therapist soon. I cannot overstate how changed I feel.