WWYD....41 year old female, wants to have another baby, eggs are getting old and clock is ticking!

[Lynnsey2121]

Hi,

I put this in the new member intro, but thought this probably would have been a more appropriate place to ask this....

So, hi, my question is in the subject line. I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant with my first two boys, but had them at 38 and 39. (I have PCOS and dealt with years of infertility, so I consider my little Irish twins my little miracles.) I would LOVE to try for one more. but I have gained a lot of weight after having these little guys. I'm up to 263 (5'3") at my last doctor visit last week. That is the highest I have been. I know that is a big reason why I have not been able to get pregnant (and my age of course working against me).

I know that if I have the sleeve, I will have to wait at least a year to get pregnant from what I've read. But that seems risky too (as far as waiting and my biological clock ticking).

But I haven't had any luck getting pregnant at how unhealthy I am now either.

I just don't know what to do.

I should mention hubby is not on board with WLS. And our insurance excludes bariatric surgery so I'd probably have to do it in Mexico (which hubby is even less on board with).

Well, that's my intro! Nice to meet you all!

[Ann2]

I think there's a question in there.

But this is your decision to make. I don't think you can crowd-source this one.

[Sarasjourney]

I agree with Ann2. This is something YOU have to decide. If you're going to go the Mexico route you will have less time with pre-op things like Dietician visits or tests but it's still not like you can just phone in, pay, and get a surgery date for tomorrow. It takes time to set this all up and make sure you're ready. There's also unknowns, like how well you'll do after surgery as far as recovery and if your weight loss is slow or not, difficult, etc. Can you honestly say you're comfortable waiting all THAT time plus a year if you can get pregnant right away? If you really can't wait to have another baby, I mean like your clock's alarm is going off right now and you want to be holding a baby RIGHT NOW, then my advice would be to use what time you would be preparing for the surgery, trying for a baby. But if you think it can wait and you think your chances will improve with weight loss and you're dedicated then I'd say wait the year or so and worry about you first. Again, this is entirely your decision, we can't tell you when to have a baby or what's more important in your life.

[Lynnsey2121]

Thanks....yeah, I guess I'm not really trying to crowd source for my own situation, I was more trying to see if anyone else has been faced with this situation and what they did in their situation.

My body played tricks on me this cycle....I really thought I was pregnant. Then I got my "visitor" yesterday about 3 days late. Which is odd because I've been pretty regular since I've had my last baby. But I just went through two kidney stone surgeries in June and July (one to place a stent and a uteroscopy to laser that horrible awful thing out) and I wonder if between that and me gaining 10 lbs in the last couple of months is messing with my cycle.

I wish I had a crystal ball (don't we all?)

I definitely would not want to risk the baby not getting enough nutrients if I was lucky enough to get pregnant again after I had the sleeve. Baby's health is the most important thing (along with my health since baby relies on me!)

This is a huge decision I have to make. I just hope I make the right one and it all works out in the end.

Thanks for letting me vent!

[Sarasjourney]

I have PCOS myself so I know a fraction of what you're going through. But I know that whatever decision you make, will be the best decision for you.

[chula]

WEll I am a PCOS'er as well. I am also a mother of now 3 children 2 of which are 20 and 23 years younger than their sister yep due to weight I was unable to get pregnant until I got very serious and got the lap band lost 110lbs and went on fertility drugs hard core and got pregnant with my first son. Then I gained some weight because after you get the band unfilled well you go back to old habits but still I did a few rounds of fertility drugs on my own and got pregnant again at 43. I have 2 healthy boys now and although I am tired alot due to my age I would not have changed anything. I want to mention that when I got prengnat with my last son I was weighing is at 298lbs. Went on to gain up to 357lbs gave birth c section no problems no issues. I decided the lap band was NOT for me. In Feb i went to mexico and had the band removed and the sleeve placed. I am a slow loser but who cares I am in no race what so ever I am enjoying life. Not to mention runing after 2 small ones is enough exercise LOL!! GOOD luck to you making YOUR decision!

[Gidget'sMom]

I too have PCOS... I've tried diet after diet and can't lose weight. My doctor wants me to lose 35 pounds before trying anything that might help me get pregnant. That would be a great plan, if at any point in time I had been able to lose even 5 pounds, but I haven't been successful EVER. So I am going to have the surgery to help lose the weight in hopes of growing our family. I met with the surgeon on Thursday and he was very encouraging about baby after surgery. I hope you markets decision that is right for you. I am excited to be on the journey of a healthier lifestyle to the best mom I can be for my future kiddos.
-M