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Thread: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

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    Gastric Sleeve Member brooklyn_mom's Avatar
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    Default Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Hey all,
    As my surgery date rapidly approaches I am still unsure of what to tell my 4 year old. I was planning on telling her I was going out of town, but my husband is pressuring me to be honest and tell her I will have surgery. I think that will just scare her and she wont be able to understand I'm not sick/dying etc. Anyways, I would love to hear from people that have been through it already what worked for them or what they did.

    Thanks!
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    5/7 date of surgery after 2 week pre op diet- 233 lbs

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    Gastric Sleeve Member Truffles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    My youngest was 8 yo when I had the surgery. My DH and I flew from Edmonton, AB to San Diego, CA and then onto Mexico. We had FIL and step-MIL come and stay with the kids.

    To reassure my youngest, I used my step-MIL as a model. She is one of those naturally active and fit people. So, I explained to my youngest that I want to be healthy and active and that I was struggling to do it on my own. I explained that the surgery would help me become like my step-MIL and that I would be able to do more active things with the family.

    That seemed to help.
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    Gastric Sleeve Member proud_mommyof2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    I am actually battling that right now. My kids are 2 and 4 and I am going for surgery on Monday and never been apart from the 2 year old and only apart from the 4 year old when I had her little brother. I told my daughter (4 yo) that I am going to the hospital like papa was in (my dad was sick for a few days) so the doctor can fix my tummy and make me healthy. I explained that I would be gone for one day and one night and shortly after she got home from school the next day I would be home with her again. I am honestly more concerned about my son because he is a total mamas boy and only wants me. My daughter I know will ask where I am, but as long as she has her daddy, she will be fine. He won't be able to stay with me as he will have to come home to take care of the kids. So our situations are a little different since your husband will be with you and you will be gone for a few days. Just be honest and promise her everything will be ok and you will be home soon.
    brooklyn_mom and CaymanKarma like this.



    Heaviest weight 7/07 350
    pre-op 302lbs
    Weight 5/6/12 at hospital check in 290
    6/12/13 ~ 274
    9/3/13 ~ 249
    5/6/14 ~ 209 1 year surgiversary! 93 lost from sleeve 141 total!

    Inches lost:
    From 5/1/to 6/1= 14
    6/1 -7/1= 10.25
    7/1 - 8/1= 9.25
    8/1- 9/1 = 11.75
    Total inches lost 45.75 in 4 months

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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    I had surgery on April 11th. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I told them that I was having surgery on my tummy to make me healthier. They have been great. My three year old daughter wanted to see my stomach every day to see if my "ouchies" are getting better (and still does on occasion). My 5 year old son is constantly asking me if different foods are soft enough for me to eat. It is amazing how much kids understand when you give them the basic truth. Kids are great!!

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    Gastric Sleeve Member sunnyjill's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    My surgery was very private and my husband and I will not be telling anyone. When I went for surgery we told the kids I was going to visit an out of state friend. My 4 & 7 year olds were happy staying home with daddy. Back at home I just haven't picked up the kids..... just hold them while sitting. Really it has not been an issue.
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    Gastric Sleeve Member bestnester's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    You know what will be best for your child. For my girl who is 5 I waited until the day before. My mom was flying in to help and I focused more on that. This is a brief version of what I told her.

    You know how Mommy has a bigger tummy than other Mommys? Well mommy is gonna go away for a few days and the doctor is gonna help Mommy do that. He is gonna help Mommy be a better Mommy.
    brooklyn_mom likes this.



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    Gastric Sleeve Member brooklyn_mom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Quote Originally Posted by Garystevanus View Post
    I had surgery on April 11th. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I told them that I was having surgery on my tummy to make me healthier. They have been great. My three year old daughter wanted to see my stomach every day to see if my "ouchies" are getting better (and still does on occasion). My 5 year old son is constantly asking me if different foods are soft enough for me to eat. It is amazing how much kids understand when you give them the basic truth. Kids are great!!
    That is a good point!



    5/7 date of surgery after 2 week pre op diet- 233 lbs

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    Gastric Sleeve Member bestnester's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Quote Originally Posted by Garystevanus View Post
    I had surgery on April 11th. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I told them that I was having surgery on my tummy to make me healthier. They have been great. My three year old daughter wanted to see my stomach every day to see if my "ouchies" are getting better (and still does on occasion). My 5 year old son is constantly asking me if different foods are soft enough for me to eat. It is amazing how much kids understand when you give them the basic truth. Kids are great!!
    It has totally amazed me at how much my 5 year old has learned. She will ask lots of question about what I am eating or more like not eating. She loves to say this is healthy or this isn't very healthy.
    brooklyn_mom likes this.



  13. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member brooklyn_mom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Quote Originally Posted by proud_mommyof2 View Post
    I am actually battling that right now. My kids are 2 and 4 and I am going for surgery on Monday and never been apart from the 2 year old and only apart from the 4 year old when I had her little brother. I told my daughter (4 yo) that I am going to the hospital like papa was in (my dad was sick for a few days) so the doctor can fix my tummy and make me healthy. I explained that I would be gone for one day and one night and shortly after she got home from school the next day I would be home with her again. I am honestly more concerned about my son because he is a total mamas boy and only wants me. My daughter I know will ask where I am, but as long as she has her daddy, she will be fine. He won't be able to stay with me as he will have to come home to take care of the kids. So our situations are a little different since your husband will be with you and you will be gone for a few days. Just be honest and promise her everything will be ok and you will be home soon.
    Good luck with your surgery and the separation from your kids! When my daughter was 2 I had to leave her for the first time to go to a funeral out of state. It was hard but she did okay. Hopefully your son will do okay too.



    5/7 date of surgery after 2 week pre op diet- 233 lbs

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    Gastric Sleeve Member SethP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    I guess my situation is different from most on here, considering that I work in the Gulf of Mexico, I am gone 2 weeks out of every month. But I have told my 3 year old the truth about Daddy about to have surgery on his stomach. We strive very hard to teach our son to always tell the truth even if it is hard at times. I would not be doing very good if I were to lie to him. I believe that children learn from example so I am trying to set a good example for him. That of course is just my two cents.
    LIFE is NOT a Spectator SPORT!!


    Highest weight ----343 lbs 2008
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    Gastric Sleeve Member brooklyn_mom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Quote Originally Posted by SethP View Post
    I guess my situation is different from most on here, considering that I work in the Gulf of Mexico, I am gone 2 weeks out of every month. But I have told my 3 year old the truth about Daddy about to have surgery on his stomach. We strive very hard to teach our son to always tell the truth even if it is hard at times. I would not be doing very good if I were to lie to him. I believe that children learn from example so I am trying to set a good example for him. That of course is just my two cents.
    That is a really good point. I guess this goes back to how I was raised: very close relationship with my parents to this day but they were not always forecoming about "hard" topics. I notice I am almost veering into this with my own daughter and I don't want to repeat that.
    All the advice and my husband's support is prompting me to be honest in a kid appropriate way. thanks again. BTW my sister in law and her husband live in lafayette.



    5/7 date of surgery after 2 week pre op diet- 233 lbs

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  17. #12
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    I had an operation 6 years ago and it kinda mentally scarred my kids, they absolutely hated seeing me in the hospital wired up to machines and with canulas in my arms etc. This time my husband and I have agreed to not tell the girls.. they are now 10 and 13 so not little kids who will accept that kind of story.. they would demand chapter and verse and then go crazy with worry for me and I just can't do that to them.. it's actually easier when they are little as they accept everthing a parent tells them, not so easy when they are older.

    So I've gone with the story that I'm going on a spa break for 2 nights with a friend.. I've never been away from them (apart from the usual kids sleepover parties) so this is a big change for them. I realise when I return I will be in recovery and they may guess... I'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.



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    Gastric Sleeve Member monet1974's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Well my kids are 12 and very mature, they knew I had not been feeling well and had been having stomach problems. This was because the tubing was disconnected from the band, and I had been in pain for several months. So when I told them I was going to have surgery, they already knew it was because of the pain. I didn't go into specific with them, they don't need to know the details. Their dad did bring them to the hospital everyday, so they would not worry.
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  19. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member brooklyn_mom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Hey everyone, thanks for your advice! I am really glad I told my little kid the truth. I did not say the word "surgery" but I told her I needed to go to the doctor and he was going to help fix my belly. And I would stay overnight but I would see her soon, and Mommy loves her. And I reassured her that Papa was going to be there and everything else was normal in her life. She is only 4 so I didn't want her seeing me in the hospital, so he didn't bring her.
    I was gone 2 nights 2 1/2 days, my husband said was rough for her but overall she did fine. She cried for me a bit. But soon enough I am home and she understands I have "boo-boos" on my belly and she can't jump on me, and I can't pick her up right now. She is very happy I am home, she wishes I felt better but I told her I am getting better. She understands the concept of boo-boos since she has had a knee scrape recently. Anyways, I am glad I explained the truth (even in a limited way.) She already wants to drink smoothies with me (so i make her a fruit one before making my high protein one.)
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    5/7 date of surgery after 2 week pre op diet- 233 lbs

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    Gastric Sleeve Member CaymanKarma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sleever parents of little kids-what did you tell your kid about the surgery?

    Quote Originally Posted by brooklyn_mom View Post
    Hey everyone, thanks for your advice! I am really glad I told my little kid the truth. I did not say the word "surgery" but I told her I needed to go to the doctor and he was going to help fix my belly. And I would stay overnight but I would see her soon, and Mommy loves her. And I reassured her that Papa was going to be there and everything else was normal in her life. She is only 4 so I didn't want her seeing me in the hospital, so he didn't bring her.
    I was gone 2 nights 2 1/2 days, my husband said was rough for her but overall she did fine. She cried for me a bit. But soon enough I am home and she understands I have "boo-boos" on my belly and she can't jump on me, and I can't pick her up right now. She is very happy I am home, she wishes I felt better but I told her I am getting better. She understands the concept of boo-boos since she has had a knee scrape recently. Anyways, I am glad I explained the truth (even in a limited way.) She already wants to drink smoothies with me (so i make her a fruit one before making my high protein one.)
    This thread has already helped me! I have 2 DDs--4 (turning 5 right before I go in for surgery) & 9--and my 9 year old is aleady questioning why I am always on THIS site so it wont take her long to figure out I'm having surgery. Guess I could tell her but I don' want her to worry for the next 5.5 months (YAY! so close yet so far!)

    Hope you are enjoying sleeved life....would love to hear an update.
    brooklyn_mom likes this.
    Highest Weight- 315lbs- Nov 2012
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