Nerves/apprehensions/hesitations.......questions

[DMKRED]

Hi all

I am a newbie on here and have been busy stalking the pages for weeks now to gather as much information as I can so I can make my final decision about whether or not to proceed with surgery! I have to say it's a wealth of information and it's great that everyone shares their experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly). Thanks all for being here and for being so honest and open with your journey.

I am not sure why I am hesitating with this - deep down I know it is going to work for me. I think the issue for me is the thought of not being able to go out and enjoy meals with my family and friends like I do now - the pleasure I get from eating, cooking, sharing meals, etc is immense. I somehow think that I will resent it and see it as a form of torture or discipline for being naughty. It's also very permanent.

A little about me.....I don't eat too badly - I keep a fairly simple diet (high protein/low carb) and keep around the 1200-1500 calories per day - but I definitely have moments where I eat way too much. My problem is that if I don't exercise, even on a calorie reduced diet, I gain weight. For example, in January 2014 I was weighing in at 81kg (178-ish lb) and I only got to that weight by doing three personal training sessions per week and running 10km/6 miles 3 mornings per week. It took me a year of doing this to lose 20kg/40lb. My trainer was baffled about why I wasn't losing more weight and more quickly. Unfortunately in the December of 2013 it became too cold to do my runs in Central Park so I switched to running on the treadmill. On the very first day of doing this, my ankle swelled up like a balloon afterwards. To cut a long story short I got a stress fracture that day and it put me out of action for about 3 months. During that time I developed plantar fasciitis in my other foot so was laid up even more. It is now a year later and I still have the plantar fasciitis but it is finally getting a little better. The bad news is that I have regained the weight and now weigh in at close to 100kg /220lb. I just cannot maintain a weight without exercising like an athlete.

I have always been very active but about 8 years had a serious back injury and that was the start of my demise in terms of weight. It resulted in nerve damage so I have a weak left leg (but thankfully I no longer limp - I have that sorted). I was so excited when I was able to start training and running again and then very disappointed when it all came to a halt. I love exercising.

The reality is that I'm not getting any younger (will be 44 on my next birthday) and keeping up an athlete's training regime isn't going to be possible so I need to manage my weight in another way and that is going to have to be cutting down on the calories - which is why I think the sleeve is the perfect option for me. But there's a few things holding me back or that I haven't really been able to get clarity on so hoping others might be able to send me their thoughts/experiences with the concerns I've noted below.

My concerns are:

• I travel for work - how have others handled travelling? Especially in the early stages of post-op? when will I have the strength/energy to drag around my suitcase and laptop?
• What is it really like two years on and you still can't go to a restaurant and enjoy a full meal - does it feel like some form of torture for being bad pre-op?
• How bad really is the hair loss? I have thin hair now and lost a lot when I was going through my back issues so this side affect is scary to me
• What do the scars look like?
• The permanency of it scares me (I think). How have others reconciled with this? Or does the outcome wipe the fear away?

Finally, I live in NYC (midtown west). If there are any other NYC sleevers out thereI would love to know about support groups or other avenues of support that might be out there.

Thanks

[DebbieD]

Best decision I ever made. I didn't experience any hair loss, scaring is so minimal at close to two years out barely visible. My whole relationship with food has changed. I still enjoy going out to eat...but I bring home enough for sometimes 2 other meals. Eating even a couple of extra bites past FULL makes me feel really uncomfortable so it's easy to stop. The times I think "wow, this is really good, I wish I could eat more" turns into "wow, I can have this again tomorrow." I was tired for the first 6 weeks but manageable.

[DMKRED]

I really just need to get over myself and book a date!

[didishae]

I haven't had my surgery yet so I can't offer too much advice on that yet (ask me again in a few weeks but I did want to say "GOOD FOR YOU!" for taking your time in making this decision and really exploring all of your feelings before you head down this road. From what I have heard (and read about on here) the people that have seemed to have the hardest time dealing with the changes afterwards are the ones that didn't properly prepare themselves before hand. Knowing and fully accepting the changes that are going to come seems to make it a lot easier afterwards. I don't think anyone should rush to get this surgery done...do what you've been doing: think it through, talk with as many others as you can, read everything you can on here and make sure you are 100% sure before you have it done.

For me personally I know it is the right decision but that's come after a long time of thought and research. I just realized that for me, I could gain and lose forever but I would never be able to fully maintain any weight loss without a tool like the gastric sleeve. I was just going to yo yo forever. Coming to that realization was what convinced me... I don't want to yo-yo anymore... how miserable is it to work SO hard and have it all go away in a flash? Everytime I gained the weight back it would eat away a little more at my soul... I will do whatever it takes to not have to go through that again. But I know from experience that I won't be able to maintain without something like the sleeve to help me.

Good luck with your decision. Don't rush to do anything you're not ready to do...I think you WILL decide that this is the right thing for you but make sure you move forward wholeheartedly.

[rockscott40]

Best decision I ever made and have no regrets about it!!!!!

[Aydensmomma]

I am only a few weeks out so I can only tell you about my 1st month. For the 1st week I didn't do much. Told not to lift over ten lbs for a month.2nd week did the housework and shopping etc. OK but tired early, went to bed at 8pm. Every day was a little better. Today is my one month anniversary. A month ago at this time I woke up saying "owwww wtf did I do" and here I am now, feeling great. 25lbs lighter. I started working out on my stair master last week. 20min, then next time 35min and then 55min. With little rest.I workout 3x a week (so far) but I feel good. I have a tiny bit of pain but that's from pulling up my heavy garage door and straining. Other then that I feel great. There are 5 1inch incisions on my tummy. The doc said within a year they will be hard to see and fading. My friend is 13months out, lost 10lbs and I can't barely see her scars. If I didn't know they were there I probably wouldn't have seen them.
Also I read on here, a few times, that this is not a diet it's a tool. You can still enjoy food just not as much. I eat 3 bites at dinner and I'm done. But again, I'm only in the begining. I would rather look forward to getting a nice outfit to west out then look forward to the actual food. I eat my few bites so slow that I'm done at the same time as everyone else. good luck!

[PITSTOP]

Welcome!

[Damasyn]

You sound just like me ! I will be 46 this year, struggled with major back issues (2 surgeries ) plantar fascitits , nerve damage on left leg, however i am now walking with a cane the nerve damage is permanent . I didnt eat alot, but grazed. I ate emotionally. 2 months after my first big back issue - i had gained 45 lbs !

I am just over 2 months out of surgery and have lost just over 55 lb. I feel so much better. it is a change when it comes to socializing around the food, but its not bad. Just a change of how you do things.

[Rayer]

Hey there. I am a newbie as well and have not had the sleeve yet. I am just beginning this process and am excited but also, at the same time, a bit aprehensive too. Like so many times before, I am afraid that once again, I will fail at losing weight. You will experience hair loss if you are not taking in enough protein. When you eat protein it feeds our organs, tissues and blood. If we don't take in enough then there's only so much to go around and if there's none left for our skin, hair and bones, then they suffer. If you take in enough, hair loss shouldn't become an issue. I've heard the scars aren't really noticable after the heal completely. I am pretty sure you will be able to cook, entertain and enjoy dinners out. You won't be eating, or wanting, as much food as before but the amount you'll be eating will be a "full meal" to you. You will get use to it and the outing will become more centered around the people you are sharing it with and less about the food. As least that is what I'm hoping. Like I said, I've not been through this yet but I have read a lot and spoken to my navigator at my surgeon's office. She's fantastic about answering my questions. I can't say enough about them and their genuine care and concern for every person, every step of the way. Good luck with your decision and keep us updated.

[SandyFromNJ]

Donna,

It is excellent that you are thinking this out and asking questions.

I had my sleeve done November 2012. I am very happy that I had it done. I had a huge stomach and lost 9 inches from my stomach alone. I am still losing but it is easy to eat the wrong foods. I have not gained weight back but have only lost 70 lbs and have another 60 to go.

Travel: in the beginning, dragging your suit case will be tricky. Speak to your doctor as to when it will be safe to do that. I am a nurse and work part time. I only took two weeks off from work and then returned to full duty.

I occasionally go to restaurants. It is easier to stay on program when I cook at home. Depending on where I go, some restaurants offer 'small plates' and I will get that or an appetizer. After this surgery, you will NEVER be able to eat a full 3 course meal. I have on special occasions but would only eat a very small portion of the salad, a quarter of the entre and maybe a spoonful of desert. I order water with my meal but do not drink it. If I have a hamburger, I will ask for it to be served on lettuce without bread. I have asked for chicken with two vegetables and not potato. I usually will bring food home with me. It is not torture at all, it is just a matter of fact.

I did not have any hair loss. You must get your protein, vitamins and water in, that could prevent problems.

My scars are tiny, flesh colored and barely noticeable.

The reality is, this is a life changing operation. You will lose weight. You will have to exercise. You will have to eat according to your doctor and dietitian's orders. I belong to a support group through my surgeon's office. I still go to the meetings. I do have a different relationship with food. Food is needed for nourishment.

I cannot eat a lot of food but I can tolerate eating ANYTHING. My sleeve tolerates everything just not a lot of food at one time. It still gets me in trouble and find my self getting back on program to continue my weight loss journey.

This is your decision. You must figure out the reason that you are seeking this surgery. It is your decision as to if the outcome is more important then your fear of not being able to eat a large amount of food. This is life changing. There is an adjustment period. Everyone needs a different amount of time to adjust to having a small stomach. Once it is done, it is done. The doctor cannot put your stomach back. For me, it was a wonderful decision. I knew it would take me time to learn to live with my new stomach and after the initial 1st week post op, I did fine. I just took it one day at a time and it got easier as time passed. I am much more healthier and happier now.

Good Luck!