Bad mood and just feeling craby 🦀 😶
by, 01-11-2017 at 10:23 AM (463 Views)
I'm just in a funk. I don't know how to get out of it.
I can't seem to get it together! I was doing great for a few days trying to get back on a routine.
Yesterday I decided to go get a mani pedi before going to the gym to workout, the nail spa is near gym, but it backfired. I just wanted polish removed and cuticles trimmed and cleaned. It took forever and the guy cut me too close in two fingers (which are still hurting.) I just wanted my nails to breath for a while 😩
I walked out from the nail spa around 6pm the parking lot was packed, and cars still pouring in. I walked over to gym and it's super crowded. I just turned around. I'm going to be honest, I've never been to gym at that time.
Over the weekend I did some deep house cleaning and scheduled carpet and upholstery cleaning for this morning for 8:30a. I got up early to clear all small items off the floor. It was 9:15a and nothing! I called to check I had date/time correct, and a condescending woman tells me it was a window of 8:30-9:30am, but then after I explained that there are offices below me and I was really hoping that they would've started earlier she tells me it looks like the crew won't be arriving until 10am. It just pushed a button and needless to say I canceled the whole thing. She said fine, but it would cost me $35 for canceling last minute. I just went off.
I'm trying to reflect on why I'm so upset.
I'm seeing the Bariatric doctor this afternoon for a follow up. I had labs done last week. After the Holidays who knows how my labs will return. Also my menstrual period is over due, but I am certainly experiencing the bloating and water gain. I even took a water pill yesterday and peed normal.
I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm failing. Are all feelings that are going through me right now.
The reason is that I can see how easily is to fall back to old habits. Why did I just didn't stay at the gym and worked out like I planned? Why was it so easy to get back in my car? I used to sit in the parking lot of the gym then go home and act if I had worked out. WTF!!!??? The person I was lying to was myself, the only person I was hurting was myself!
I used to hate gyms. I felt everyone staring (but not staring) trying to size me up. I could care less now. But then why???
Another 12-week Get Fit program is starting, but I have a lot of work related traveling coming up, and I really need to start being thrifty and stick to my budget since funds are not pouring in.
If I can only get mind and body and weight under some control.