Frustration with Eating Out--11 Weeks Post Op

[raerie81]

While I know that this is a taboo subject with sleevers, I am still struggling with eating out so I am going to put this out there.

I don't go out to eat much since I work full time and a full time grad student, but when I get invited out with friends and family it is always an issue it seems like. Last night, I had a goat cheese salad with light dressing and scallops. Instantly I did not feel good. Actually I felt bad. Very bad. I know it wasn't bad scallops because my friend (also a sleever) had the same scallops and was fine. I know that this is an adjustment period and I need to remember to eat slow and chew (both I struggle with but I made sure to do last night) however, I am just frustrated with not knowing what will make me sick. Even the healthy foods seem to make me sick and sometimes it is out of no where.

Let me say again, I don't eat out much but when I do I would like not to have this much anxiety about there being nothing for me to eat or that what I do eat (even good healthy food) will make me instantly sick at the table.

I guess this is a "give me an advice" post but it's more of a venting. I am so thankful for this procedure but I am still trying to adjust to the new insides. Any thoughts on what worked and what didn't for you.

Thank you for the time to put it all out there. It helps to have such a supporting forum as this. Most just don't understand that I am not ungrateful just frustrated I still haven't figured out my own body yet.

[natex14]

I don't eat salad and for a couple of reasons; I have heard other sleevers complain about it and the lettuce just takes up space without any real nuturition. That could be different depending on the type of lettuce that you use.

We go out to eat often, so there is no judging from me on that. I typically try to find chicken that is an appetizer, or a shrimp appetizer. Those seem to sit really well with me.

I know I have been pretty lucky that the only thing that really bothers me is hamburger. I think this is just trial and error for a long time with what sits well and what doesn't. It's a little more boring, but hey, you have lost 45 pounds, so it can't be all bad.

[thinmeskreamin]

It's ok to eat out, so don't crucify yourself over it. At 11 weeks you're still transitioning into a true full diet. Salad/ raw veggies may not be tollerated well yet. We also forget how much andvhow fast and not to drink. I've been eating out with family since 4 weeks out and am still careful about choices. There s always a to go box involved. Some do an appetizer or kids meal. The scallops were a great choice, may have needed some sauce of sorts to help lubricate. You will find items that work well for you

[raerie81]

Great follow up Nathan. Thank you.
I have been very funny about salad for that reason. I did ok before but this was a strictly spinach salad. I also have been "scared" to try chicken I have heard from many people it does not digest easily, but that being said I am really learning each person is different. Perhaps I will venture out. I have eaten quite a bit of scallops and salmon. Im over it lol
I know that it is very mental sometimes. That I just want to be able to order whatever and be ok. I know this to be true, it still make sit hard.

And you are so right balancing the weight loss (BIG PROS) and this stuff (cons) is minimal. Like I said I am grateful just struggling to get use to it, as I am sure we all did.

PS kudos on all the weight you dropped!

[raerie81]

Thank you so much. The scallops were overcooked. It might not have gone down so well!

It's ok to eat out, so don't crucify yourself over it. At 11 weeks you're still transitioning into a true full diet. Salad/ raw veggies may not be tollerated well yet. We also forget how much andvhow fast and not to drink. I've been eating out with family since 4 weeks out and am still careful about choices. There s always a to go box involved. Some do an appetizer or kids meal. The scallops were a great choice, may have needed some sauce of sorts to help lubricate. You will find items that work well for you

[candik]

I agree with the others who said it is probably too early for salad. I have to be careful of how the food is prepared in restaurants because they tend to use butter, cream, oils. If the fish or chicken is "sauteed" I always ask them to grill it instead. The veggies will usually be prepared in butter so I ask them to be steamed without butter. Some seasonings still bother me as well. It will be trial and error for quite a while so when you go out to eat always go for what you know your stomach can tolerate and don't experiment "just to see" if you can eat it.

[natex14]

You are so right, we are all different. I think that is why you have to try new things and just see what happens. Sometimes when I try something new I will just have a bite and then wait a few minutes to see if there is any discomfort.

Thanks for the compliment. I feel great.

[Angella67]

Almost 5 1/2 months out and salad is still very iffy for me. I've had a couple bites that caused no problems at all and I've had one bite that instantly made me feel icky. Thankfully, nothing I've eaten so far in this journey has actually made me actually sick, but there are some things that just don't sit well and I consider salad one of them. Chicken and bread/pasta are the others. 2 bites of chicken make me completely full and leave me feeling icky...steak works much better for me, so I tend to eat a lot of filet mignon. It's an expensive cut of meat, but when I can make 3 meals out of one 6 oz piece and it's loaded with protein I think it's worth it! Just like the others said, it's a trial and error....I tried and tried to make chicken a staple in my diet because it's one of the top recommendations, but it's just not for me. All of my friends think my diet is boring because I eat the same things over and over, but I have found what works for me and I continue to lose weight, so I'm sticking with it.

BTW: I eat out 3 or 4 times per week, so no judgement from me!!

Here is a sample of my daily menu just in case you're interested:

Breakfast:
Starbucks Light frappuccino (bottled) I have one every morning.
Yogurt

Snack:
Laughing cow light wedge with 2-3 pita crisp crackers

Lunch:
Frijoles with meat and cheese from Taco Casa

Snack:
Almonds

Dinner:
Steak with steamed broccoli

I drink minimum of 60 oz water per day and try for 80 grams protein. If my protein is running short I have a quest bar. I can't do protein shakes at all. I usually get around 800 calories per day...I try for 1000, but have yet to make it.

Good luck!!!!

[raerie81]

Extremely helpful thank you so very much! I love the sample diary.

Almost 5 1/2 months out and salad is still very iffy for me. I've had a couple bites that caused no problems at all and I've had one bite that instantly made me feel icky. Thankfully, nothing I've eaten so far in this journey has actually made me actually sick, but there are some things that just don't sit well and I consider salad one of them. Chicken and bread/pasta are the others. 2 bites of chicken make me completely full and leave me feeling icky...steak works much better for me, so I tend to eat a lot of filet mignon. It's an expensive cut of meat, but when I can make 3 meals out of one 6 oz piece and it's loaded with protein I think it's worth it! Just like the others said, it's a trial and error....I tried and tried to make chicken a staple in my diet because it's one of the top recommendations, but it's just not for me. All of my friends think my diet is boring because I eat the same things over and over, but I have found what works for me and I continue to lose weight, so I'm sticking with it.

BTW: I eat out 3 or 4 times per week, so no judgement from me!!

Here is a sample of my daily menu just in case you're interested:

Breakfast:
Starbucks Light frappuccino (bottled) I have one every morning.
Yogurt

Snack:
Laughing cow light wedge with 2-3 pita crisp crackers

Lunch:
Frijoles with meat and cheese from Taco Casa

Snack:
Almonds

Dinner:
Steak with steamed broccoli

I drink minimum of 60 oz water per day and try for 80 grams protein. If my protein is running short I have a quest bar. I can't do protein shakes at all. I usually get around 800 calories per day...I try for 1000, but have yet to make it.

Good luck!!!!

[Bstarmom2003]

I am also 11 weeks out (05-13-14) and have the same struggle. I usually get a child's plate or order off the side menu items. I tend to stick with soft foods. For example, if we go out for mexican, I will order charro beans, or refried beans, and a side of avacado. Most other places, I will order mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and maybe a small meat. I do good with those and always take some home. I order a lot of soups going out as well. I go out for lunch just close to everyday with coworkers. I stay away from salads most of the time. When I order chicken or steak, it is very small of course, always grilled, and I chew chew chew. I always order a box and a to go water when I order my meal because I never finish it and the water is for after. I keep track of what I need as far a proteins, calorie and carb intake. I stay clear away from bread and rice because they expand and I need room for more nutritious things. I eat yogurt, cheeses, jellos and some varieties of nuts for in between snackage.

Definitely a learning process. I have learned what type of foods I can and can't have....and still learning as my journey continues.
We are still early out, so struggles are normal. You are doing great! :-)

[raerie81]

Thank you so much. Good to hear from someone at the same place. Love the suggestions!

I am also 11 weeks out (05-13-14) and have the same struggle. I usually get a child's plate or order off the side menu items. I tend to stick with soft foods. For example, if we go out for mexican, I will order charro beans, or refried beans, and a side of avacado. Most other places, I will order mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and maybe a small meat. I do good with those and always take some home. I order a lot of soups going out as well. I go out for lunch just close to everyday with coworkers. I stay away from salads most of the time. When I order chicken or steak, it is very small of course, always grilled, and I chew chew chew. I always order a box and a to go water when I order my meal because I never finish it and the water is for after. I keep track of what I need as far a proteins, calorie and carb intake. I stay clear away from bread and rice because they expand and I need room for more nutritious things. I eat yogurt, cheeses, jellos and some varieties of nuts for in between snackage.

Definitely a learning process. I have learned what type of foods I can and can't have....and still learning as my journey continues.
We are still early out, so struggles are normal. You are doing great! :-)

[cowgirljane]

Here is my insight - you are only 11 weeks out. I was barely choking down ANY solid food without feeling kinda cruddy at that point. I am 2.5 years out, maintaining a very large weight loss and eat quite comfortably in all situations now. I know it is hard to be patient, but give it time.

If I were going out in early stages I would order a very tiny protein appetizer and not try to eat veggies or salad. Maybe a couple of shrimp? Something you know is easy to eat....

what did I actually do? I gave up going out for awhile. I realize that not everyone likes that idea, but for me, I was so focused since I had SO MUCH weight to lose that I gave up a lot to get to my goal.

I started at 308, now happily maintaining at 140 and I go eat with people who never even guess I had WLS. They just think I am a slim woman who eats dainty to maintain my figure - which is the truth.

[Julesg1963]

You're still transitioning to a regular diet. I can totally relate to how you feel. I stay away from salads right now (4 1/2 months out). I just don't enjoy dining out like I used to...and sometimes it frustrates me, and yet there are times I'm very thankful for feeling that way. When I do dine out, I have to remind myself to eat s-l-o-w-l-y and chew everything very well, but it can be hard when you're chatting and enjoying time with friends. I always have a to-go box for leftovers. My husband and I have decided now that when we're dining outtogether, we're going to split a meal - as I can hardly make a dent in a full entree. I can tolerate most things very well - steak, chicken, but I tolerate fish/seafood the best. What you're feeling is very normal...take it easy and enjoy yourself.

[raerie81]

Great advice. Im with you on the left over boxes. It is mental but I think that you are correct in that I am still get use to it too. I appreciate the follow up.

You're still transitioning to a regular diet. I can totally relate to how you feel. I stay away from salads right now (4 1/2 months out). I just don't enjoy dining out like I used to...and sometimes it frustrates me, and yet there are times I'm very thankful for feeling that way. When I do dine out, I have to remind myself to eat s-l-o-w-l-y and chew everything very well, but it can be hard when you're chatting and enjoying time with friends. I always have a to-go box for leftovers. My husband and I have decided now that when we're dining outtogether, we're going to split a meal - as I can hardly make a dent in a full entree. I can tolerate most things very well - steak, chicken, but I tolerate fish/seafood the best. What you're feeling is very normal...take it easy and enjoy yourself.

[Aquajog]

When possible I try to eat things at home before trying them elsewhere .if something bothers me the first time atleast I am home.has worked most of the time for me . Sometimes something I like and can eat is prepared differently with different spices and that may give me a problem.
I do not due fresh salads which I used to love.I may eat a slice of tomatoe but I steam most of my veggies.i do not like most red meats but I found I do like Bob Evans Roast beef.always tender and moist.
You will get you sleeve groove .. And it gets easier as tine passes.