Transparent Tuesday...100 lbs lost...yipee

[Mommaslosingit]

2 days before surgery.JPG6 months 100 lbs lost.jpg

So I decided early on in the process that once I lost 100lbs I would have a professional picture taken to mark the milestone! Well...as most of you know, I hit that milestone almost a month ago and today I finally got around to doing my photo session with my awesome friend and photographer Steve.

Right up until this morning I was super, super excited about doing this...then the time came to actually do it! Then it happened......all of the doubt, fear and major...MAJOR...MAJOR insecurity began to rush in!

In the last 2 weeks I have actually had 3 different people literally not recognize me when they first saw me...and in those moments...it feels great and wonderful and exciting! Then the moment fades and the hissing lies start coming back, "You are still so fat, you know you are going to mess this up and gain it all back...then everyone will know you are a fake and a failure! You look old now that you have lost the weight, you have skin sagging under your chin, you have "bat wings" under your arms and let's not even talk about the boobs!" And on...and on...and on...it goes. Some of it is an all out attack from my enemy but in reality, a lot of it is my own voice in my head, just repeating all the things I have always thought about myself!

I did end up doing the photo session and Steve did a great job, but even as he showed me the proofs I found myself quietly, in my mind, picking myself apart...every line, every flaw, every bump and lump...I allowed my own self perception to steal what should have been a great moment!

After I left, I was having "a moment" (not the pretty or spiritual kind..the ugly, yucky kind) and I felt the Lord gently and kindly remind me that my focus was off...yet again! Still continuing to try and find my worth in my appearance or in what others think of me, all the while forgetting what my husband see's when he looks at me, what my children see when they look at me and most importantly...what my Heavenly Father see's when he looks at me!

So here I am...once again..thinking I am further along in this journey of imperfect progress...and then BAM...I discover I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go! And so I remind myself...again:

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves." 1 Peter 3:3-6

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

#imperfectprogress

[llburbach]

You post brought me to tears because there are thousands no wait millions of us who feel just what you feel. I am not sure how this happens and over time we are subjected into thinking beauty is "thin" but true beauty comes from within. Thank you for sharing. You look beautiful inside and out!!

Laura

[julesdeck]

You are such an amazing and beautiful person. Thank you for your post.

[Mzzsugar]

Just so you know your external adorning is pretty awesome from where I'm sitting. You look beautiful and have done an amazing job losing weight. Don't forget to take pleasure in all you have done. You are succeeding and successful!! Congratulations. I can't wait to be where you are now. Remember where you came from. Give the glory to God and thank him for giving you this second chance. We"ll never be perfect but to God we are exactly as he knew we would be.

[ncubed03]

You look fabulous and you have done an amazing job! I'm stuck right now but I hope to start up again and make it to 100 as well. Good luck and keep up the good work!

[Toopie2Seater]

Beautiful.

[teddtlove]

I did this same thing too. I went for my 6th month check up. Down 100lbs. They do my photo. First two things out of my mouth are I should have worn a tighter shirt. Then man you can really tell I'm losing my hair. Nothing about the dramatic difference. The Nut slapped me with a reality check and had me say some good things.

[GraceMom]

You look so pretty and should be so proud of yourself. Remember you did this for you...you are worth it. Push the negativity aside and keep the good habits going. Success is YOURS!

[dynomite]

Beautiful Testimony.

[kenson]

Congratulations! You look amazing!

[Deecomp57]

Misty, wonderful post! You are right about the continuing self-doubt; I believe that part of it we created, and the other part is from others. We all have to adjust to the sudden physical changes, although the mental changes will take a little more time. We need to be patient, love ourselves no matter what, and trust in the Lord. The Lord provided us with this gift, we just need to learn to accept it and know that we are blessed. Thanks again for the wonderful post. I think we all needed a reminder

[one4sailn]

This is such a beautiful post. Your new pic is positively radiant! Thank you for your important words/lesson!! xo

[KayGee88]

Loved, loved your post.

[longingfortall]

Thanks so much for sharing this. I know that most of us go thru these thoughts. Just staring on my journey and I am sure that these thoughts have been in my mind also. I really appreciate the words you shared. I like that you did a photo for the mile marker of the 100 pounds. I am going to find some markers for myself.

[Flipflops]

Love your post & picture. Congrats!