help, please...

[jakebsmom]

I was sleeved in March 2011, 15 months ago. I was doing GREAT until November. By that time I had lost 94 lbs in the first 8 months, gone from a 22/24 to a size 14. I've lost nothing since. I've actually gained 8. It is completely my fault. I didn't go to my 9 month checkup and I didn't even make an appointment for my 1 year follow up. I eat all the time and none of it is good for me. I have fallen into all of the old habits that got me up to 285 lbs to begin with (as I eat a huge muffin sitting here at 9:00 pm). I know what I am doing isn't what is going to help me lose this last 50 pounds, but I can't find the will or motivation to change things.

I need to hear from anyone and everyone that has something to say. I don't know what I am looking for from anyone. I am just hoping that even one person says something that will hit home with whatever in my brain has caused me to forget everything I went through to get to this surgery.

Please, anyone, help!

[rinkrat333]

First, congratulations for the great weightloss. Second, get your butt to the nutritionist. If you are not ready for your check-in, at least talk to the nutritionist who will get you back on track. I have a nutritionist now - and her motto (even before surgery) eat twice as much protein as carbs and you will be really good - - just watch the fat in some of the protein (like sausage). The nutritionist will really set you straight. You did not go through this surgery and all that work to look great with 94 lbs off to just give in to the junk --

Just trying to help you!

[Gayle]

Oh Darling! How discouraging for you! I know the feelings you are expressing from before the sleeve -- eating and hiding from the doctor and from myself. Listen, sweetheart, let's try to refocus. Can you still listen to your sleeve? What if you go back to the 5 meals / day with protein first and end one meal with a tiny bit of what you really want (like one Reese's miniature peanut butter cup)? Then you will be taking in protein, limiting calories, and treating yourself for a job well done. Has it gone beyond being able to do this, do you think?
God Bless, angel -- you can and will get this in hand somehow
Hugs

[grammargirl0309]

That's a tough place to be in because you KNOW what you need to do; you're just not doing it. You have a great tool, but you have to use it. I would go back to the basics: lots of water and protein. Say no more to junk and carbs. Do the 5 day pouch test, with liquids and then just protein and veggies. Start exercising if you haven't. The great news is you've only gained 8 pounds; pre-sleeve, I'm sure it would have been more. But you have to get back on track. You didn't spend all that time and money and energy for this, right????

[aboutime4me]

Besides all the terrific advice here I would suggest you see someone for some counseling dealing with your eating regression, which very well could be some unresolved emotional issues you haven't acknowledged or even though about. This is for the rest of our lives and thing will rear their ugly head within us from time to time. I think this might be one of them. You had the guts to get the surgery and got all those pounds off. Sure, we all slack now and then but you've got to get your head back in the game. Take yourself back to the beginning and "re-set" your attitude, and your nutrition. Good luck and please keep us posted. We're here for your support. It also helps us too.

[cowgirljane]

I do think you should feel great about how far you have come. It can feel like a failure to not make it 100% to your goal, but the reality of it is that losing 90+ pounds is a huge victory, should be celebrated!

I have found that whenever I get off track, refocusing on the basics helps. Pretend like you are brand new, go back to following a menu or guideline. Do the exercise, do all the things that were successful before. It is really hard once you are eating junk, it is like it makes your body want more. If you did a week of refocused eating, i am sure the cravings will decrease.

People have success doing the "5 day pouch test" which basically resets the stomach and cravings. It is like you start with liquids, and then over 5 days progress back to solid food. It is like I suggested, really taking you back to basics.

Don't quit, you can do this. Too many times I have suffered from "all or nothing" thinking. Don't let a little derail turn into a complete regain. It is in your control. I have learned that one thing that trim people do is that when they are over eating, or get off plan, they get back ON plan. In the past, I always used the getting derailed as a reason to just quit - like what is the point? If you look at your before pictures, and compare yourself to NOW, i think it is very clear that there is a point, it is worth the effort and that you CAN do this - you have already demonstrated that!

[Evie Sleevie]

Put down the muffin and have an egg!

Carbs are the DEVIL--this we know!!

You can do it. You have done really really well, and this is just a temporary setback. You are human.

Do a 5 day pouch test and shrink that sucker back up!

We are here for you!! xoxoxox

[mrsbure]

I had the same issue lately and I just did the 5 day pouch test last week. I no longer crave carbs and I lost 10 pounds. I had only lost 12 pounds since January. Try it....And remember, take it day by day.

[ChaiDi]

Apparently a lot of sleevers believe that getting the sleeve will take all of the responsibility off their shoulders. Not! It is a fabulous tool that HELPS but I've learned that this is mostly a head game! I too suffer from "head hunger" but if I really examine what's going on it is almost NEVER that I'm actually hungry...I'm bored, or tired, or angry, or sad, or happy, or you name it...I've used every one of those EXCUSES to justify my eating. Also, in my head I am still a "fat chick", and it's been VERY hard to ALLOW myself to believe I can change that. When I look in the mirror I still see myself basically as I've been for many years, but it's when I can get into something that I haven't been able to wear for several years that it really hits home...I AM losing weight, it IS working, I AM going to be successful and healthy!!! YOU are in charge of YOU! Yes, we all hit stalls...I'm in one that has lasted almost a month right now, but I started weighing myself every day (yes, I know the doctors tell you not to do that) so that I could stay on top of everything and keep myself motivated if the scale moved up at all! So far it has worked - for me.
I may not be losing right now, but I'm NEVER going to allow myself to re-gain what I HAVE lost. I'm worth it! And SO ARE YOU!!! Do you need a "buddy"? Email me and I'll be your sleeve friend. We can encourage each other, share hints, share woes, and be successful together!!!!!

I was sleeved in March 2011, 15 months ago. I was doing GREAT until November. By that time I had lost 94 lbs in the first 8 months, gone from a 22/24 to a size 14. I've lost nothing since. I've actually gained 8. It is completely my fault. I didn't go to my 9 month checkup and I didn't even make an appointment for my 1 year follow up. I eat all the time and none of it is good for me. I have fallen into all of the old habits that got me up to 285 lbs to begin with (as I eat a huge muffin sitting here at 9:00 pm). I know what I am doing isn't what is going to help me lose this last 50 pounds, but I can't find the will or motivation to change things.

I need to hear from anyone and everyone that has something to say. I don't know what I am looking for from anyone. I am just hoping that even one person says something that will hit home with whatever in my brain has caused me to forget everything I went through to get to this surgery.

Please, anyone, help!

[THE_MONK]

As many have said above, find a professional to talk to. I wouldn't wait either. You don't want to ruin all the hard work it took to get to where you are now. Good luck.

In the end, it is our decision to continue to improve or to self sabotage away our success... This is going to be a lifelong process for all of us. It's not a magic pill.

[ElleMarie]

Sounds like there is a reason you are doing this. You KNOW you are doing it and yet you continue. No stone throwing here from me but rather a, " been there done that", understanding of where you are.

Get to a counselor right away. Do you have any abuse from your past? Maybe something that nags at your sub-conscience but you don't allow yourself to remember fully. (these are not questions you need to answer here as they could be quite personal but rather questions you MUST ask yourself) Many women that suffered abuse especially from fathers or men, keep themselves heavy to "protect" themselves. Has anything particular happened, a family gathering?, run into an old friend?, started a new relationship?, anything unusual around the time that you stopped losing.

There must have been a trigger because you have a specific time that you stopped losing and started to eat wrong. It could also be something within your body, sometimes when we are deficient in a certain need we then crave foods for instant energy. Prior to my diagnosis of sleep apnea I would wake up and eat during the middle of the night it was because my body was EXHAUSTED from not getting good sleep and it needed energy from SOMEWHERE to function. I can't remember the last time I ate during the middle of the night I would honestly rather sleep.

Leave no stone unturned in your search for what is at the root of this. If it helps (it does for me) write it out. I started a blog for this very reason. At times I will start to type "thinking" I feel a certain way and it turns into something quite different, revealing to myself how I actually feel. What works for some doesn't for others but the fact that you are searching for an answer and reaching out to others is SO encouraging. FIND YOUR ANSWER!! Do not give up. Great big HUGS to you!!

[cowgirljane]

I don't think most people go into this thinking that they don't need to work at it, it is just that at times the work is harder then other times and none of us are perfect. Obesity and the drive to eat is a complex set of things. It may be very well due to an emotional hurt or trauma, but it could also be that once the junk food cycle begins, it is really hard to STOP it. This is where the pouch test and other techniques come in, to break the craving cycle. I have always noticed that when I am "regaining" mode that my hunger and cravings are high. I think this is because the cycle has been triggered.

My personal experience is that i have been to counseling for my "eating issues" and really never found much benefit. I feel that the physical drive to eat is the thing that I need to keep in check, and it is largely triggered by what/how I am eating and my level of activity.
Living healthy = Low to no cravings;
Off track and putting on fat = high to uncontrollable cravings.

[Munchkin]

I agree that you should talk to a therapist. It maybe an identity crisis that you are dealing with. Like you don't want to see yourself in certain size.

Also post op care is just as important as the surgery. You have come a long way, don't give up. Make the app with your NUT and surgeon. It will help you feel accountable.

[dweber04]

Can someone explain the 5 day pouch test? I am interested in trying it and I am not sure how to do it....or maybe a link that I can look it up????

thank you!

[jane_vsg_ayla]

Ditto what everyone else said with one addition... I know for me the winter is especially rough because I literally never see the sun. I get very vitamin D deficient and there is a link between vitamin D deficiency and obesity. I also think I get a case of Seasonal Affective Disorder - basically I burrow in for the winter. Its like a bear eating enough to store and burn off while he hibernates all winter. You mentioned this all started going downhill in Nov - maybe this sounds like you? Have you typically gained weight in the winter? If so, maybe that started it and led to bad eating, which is turn leads to craving more bad food so you have been unable to break the cycle even though winter ended. Its another idea to explore if that sounds like you. Not only would I get to the nutritionist, but get some bloodwork drawn and see where your vitamins and nutrients are at - there are other deficiencies that cause depression which leads to overeating, etc. Its just another clue that could help you figure this out?